Police in Smyrna, Tennessee, are looking for a vape-shop burglary suspect who apparently decided that the ideal outfit for discreet nighttime crime was a full black-and-white cow onesie.
Surveillance images released by the Smyrna Police Department show a person in the spotted costume outside the business during two separate overnight incidents in August.
The suspects have not been identified or arrested. The burglary account is based on police allegations and store surveillance.
The first visit did not get past the door
Police say the cow-costumed person and a masked accomplice appeared outside the shop at about 2 a.m. on August 9.
The pair checked the door but did not get inside, according to reporting based on the department's public appeal. In a conventional story, that might have been the moment to reconsider the whole plan.
Instead, police say the same distinctive suspect returned one week later, around 1 a.m. on August 16, with two accomplices.
This time, the group allegedly forced entry and stole multiple vaping products before leaving. Authorities did not immediately release a total value for the merchandise or damage.
A memorable disguise can also become evidence
The cow outfit covered much of the suspect's body, but it also gave investigators a highly specific visual link between the unsuccessful first visit and the later break-in.
Police released surveillance images and asked the public for help identifying the people involved. The costume may attract attention online, but detectives will be interested in less theatrical details: vehicles, walking patterns, clothing worn by accomplices, phone locations and any attempt to sell the stolen products.
No evidence released publicly suggests the cow theme had any connection to the store or merchandise. It appears to have been chosen as a disguise, although “camouflage” is doing ambitious work in that sentence.
The humor stops before an arrest
The imagery is undeniably bizarre, and no injuries were reported. The legal allegations are still real. Breaking into a business can expose owners and employees to repair costs, lost inventory and the uneasy knowledge that strangers entered the property overnight.
The suspects are also entitled to the same presumption of innocence as anyone else. A funny-looking surveillance frame is not a conviction, and online viewers should not identify private individuals without evidence.
The Smyrna Police Department has not publicly announced arrests in the case. Anyone who recognizes the suspects or has relevant information should contact the department rather than turning the search into a social-media guessing game.
If police eventually identify the person in the onesie, investigators may learn why a cow seemed like the right choice. Until then, Smyrna has an unsolved burglary, three wanted suspects and surveillance footage that makes “nothing to see here” an impossible defense.
Facts first. Side-eye included.
DJF separates what is confirmed from what is claimed—and tells you why this particular mess is worth your time.