A squirrel wandered into the stands during an Ohio State football game, became “overwhelmed,” accepted emergency pretzels from fans and left in police custody inside an empty beer box. Honestly, this is also a reasonable summary of several human tailgates.
The tiny visitor picked the loudest possible tree
Perry Township police said fans found the frightened animal beneath stadium seating during the game against Ball State. Spectators tried calming it with pretzels before a sergeant arrived to manage the rescue.
The officer used an empty beer carton to contain the squirrel and carried it out of Ohio Stadium. It was released safely outside and continued its day, presumably after leaving a one-star review of the crowd noise.
Improvisation wins the day
Wild animals can bite when scared, so feeding or grabbing one is generally not a great plan. Giving it space and contacting trained responders is safer for both animal and humans. In this case, patient handling and an available cardboard box ended the encounter without injury.
UPI reported the rescue from police video and statements. The squirrel did not have a ticket, ignored stadium food pricing and received door-to-door transportation. It may have accidentally discovered the best premium package in college football.
Facts first. Side-eye included.
DJF separates what is confirmed from what is claimed—and tells you why this particular mess is worth your time.
Wade Crowley
Strange News & Small-Town WeirdWade collects stories that begin with “You are not going to believe what happened at the Walmart.” He covers odd crime, local legends, UFOs, and reality losing the plot.
“Somewhere, a police report is already getting weirder.”